Motivation

"What's the difference of never knowing at all

When every step I take is always too small

Maybe it's just something I can't admit, but lately

I feel like I don't give a shit "

- Sum 41, Motivation.

That song speaks to me right now. Then again, Sum 41 have a song for every one of my moods.

Motivation is something I'm really lacking lately. Not just blog wise but life wise, everything I do I just feel like "meh" (You know what I mean). My weekends are wasted doing nothing productive at all, unless you count binge watching Gilmore Girls as productive. I spend all day at work listing out things in my mind that I need to do but never get round to doing them purely because I lack motivation. I just can't be bothered with anything lately. I don't know why. 

When I moved back to England, I felt super motivated and I was getting shit done y'know? But for a couple of weeks now I've just felt so off and I REALLY need my motivation to come back. 

I'm 22 years old yet here I am sat at home on a Saturday night all because I lack the will to go out and actually meet people. Today I had pasta with sweet and sour sauce, which I do not recommend because they just don't go great together, all because I didn't go shopping because I'm so freaking lazy lately. The worst thing is is that it really aggravates me that I do this, yet I still do it! I guess I'm not feeling great about myself right now. 

I keep wanting to take Max (my dog) up to the fields and just go up with a book and read whilst the weather permits it but I keep putting it off. I guess I procrastinate too much. I've always put things off but never this bad... I feel crap and I need to be motivated, I need to get doing stuff. 

Where am I going with this post you may ask? Absolutely nowhere. I just felt like rambling and my blog is the place for that. I'm full of positive and happy thoughts lately, I'm like the dark side of the rainbow. If that's even a thing. 

I hope I get back on track soon, I feel like I've abandoned my blog and my social networks. 

I kind of feel like I want to do things but then I don't, why?